Archives For Find Soulmate

true needs

For a moment she lost herself in the warmth of her tea.

Probably the closest she’s come to comfort in a long time.

And when she finally looked up at me you could see the loneliness and suffering in her eyes.

She’s been married for over five years. But in all honesty four of them have felt like she’s been alone.

Totally and completely alone.

Tons of people in relationships suffer silently. And even though they may be with someone. That someone is miles away.

This got me to thinking about true needs. About getting clear on what it is that we really need to feel like we’re loved.

And the crazy thing is that true needs are never big crazy over the moon type of things.

They’re usually small. Tiny little moments of love.


* Holdings hands
* Cuddling on the couch
* Saying I love you
* Going for a walk with no destination in mind
* Shooting the breeze over a coffee
* Watching a movie together
* Calling unexpectedly to say hi

So the trick here is 1st to get clear on your true needs. What matters most to you?

Then 2nd, when you start to date someone, or if you’re currently in a relationship that is blossoming, to be sure to let them know. Have a heart to heart about what your true needs are.

I posed a funny question on facebook the other day. It was inspired by a show called “Breaking Bad” that I’ve been watching lately. The question was, “Does true love include the willingness to launder money for the one you love? Just wondering…”

I didn’t really expect anyone to respond. But people did. So I reassured my friends and family that I wasn’t in love with someone who asked me to be all shady and launder their money for them. Which I hoped put people’s mind at ease.

Reading their comments about knowing your truth, and being true to your values got me to thinking about all the sacrifices we may or may not make when we’re in a relationship.

The sacrifices I’m talking about are good ones. Things that bring you closer to your loved one. Steps that you can take to strengthen the bond that the two of you share.

Say for example that the guy you’re dating loves UFC and you could care less about half-naked sweaty men pounding the snot out of each other. But you know that it would make his day for you to watch the fight with him. Why not do it? Why not just make the sacrifice? Why not be there with him while he experiences his joy?

Or she loves going for a walk on the boardwalk arm in arm with you but you’d rather just veg on the couch. Why not get up and go? Make her happy. Take the time to share a special moment together.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. What truly matters is who you’re doing it with.

Your Soulmate Is Searching For You.

Ian – The Soulmate Scientist

does true luv include the willingness to launder money for the one u luv? just wondering

The philosopher Francis Bacon said that, “They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.”

When you’re looking for your Soulmate you’re going to be looking at a lot of sea. Miles and miles of it. And you have to be OK with that. Seeing beyond it even. Trusting and knowing that the land of Soulmate lovers is out there somewhere. Just past the horizon. So stay the course, work the sails, and enjoy the journey.

But sometimes this isn’t enough.

Especially for doers. People that like to roll up their sleeves and want to get their hands dirty. The ones who want to put in some work and feel like they’re moving forward under their own power in some fashion.

If that’s you, then I think you’ll appreciate this Soulmate exercise.

These techniques can work for anyone though. They’re easy and fun to do.

We’ll be working with the power of our minds. Using our imagination. Playing in the land of possibilities.

Find Your Soulmate Exercise

Let’s launch this process from your likes. What are the things that you like to do? What are the type of people that you’re usually attracted to? What’s the type of music and food that you enjoy the most?

Here’s the questions and the process for you:

If you love to go rock climbing your Soulmate may like to do that as well. Imagine the two of you rock climbing.

If you love to bust a move on the dance floor, your Soulmate may like to do that as well. Imagine the two of you dancing all night long.

If you love to cook, your Soulmate may like to do that as well. Imagine the two of you preparing dinner together.

Do you enjoy movies, the opera, or UFC?

It’s likely that your Soulmate will too.

Whatever your interests are they’re probably shared by your Soulmate.

Use them as a jumping off place to connect to them energetically. Set aside some time everyday, maybe before you go to sleep to practice this Soulmate attraction exercise.

By doing this, you will be sending out a message to the universe, asking your soulmate to contact you.

And Remember Your Soulmate Is Looking For You Too!

Ian – The Soulmate Scientist

The Origins of Valentine’s Days

Love makes us do crazy things. It’s power pushes us beyond reason. But with all the mania that’s associated with love, it still is an amazing feeling. One that we all crave and yearn to have in our lives.

Love can transform the meekest of men in mightiest of gladiators.

And one of love’s hero’s is a man named St. Valentine.

That’s right, THE, St. Valentine. The guy that started off this whole Valentine’s Day thingy.

The Origins of Valentine’s Day

In one of the stories that surround this day and this mysterious man, St. Valentine is portrayed as a quite the canny rogue.

Angered by the king’s new decree to ban young men from marrying because his majesty wants a bigger army. St. Valentine is compelled to act in accordance with a higher law and risks it all for love.

Without a thought for his own life, he would marry young couples in secret. Meeting the lovebirds in hidden and secluded spots. Basking in the glow of love and binding people together with it, at the risk of losing his own life.

Because if he were caught performing these secret midnight marriages, that would be treason. A crime against King and country. Punishible by death.

But knowing that his cause was righteous he ignored the pleadings of his reasoning mind and followed the deep call of his heart.

Can you guess what happens next?

He gets caught.

Valentine is then charged with treason, which is punishable by death, and is sent to prison to await his destiny.

Love, which transcends all, finds it way into St. Valentines dark and dingy little cell.

And as the story goes, he falls in love with the head jailers daughter. A beautiful, caring and gentle women. She too believes that love is the highest law and visits Valentine daily. In a short time the two of them fall madly in love.

The fated day arrives and Valentine is about to be put to death. And just before he’s ripped from his cell and cast into deaths dark embrace St. Valentine does one final act of love.

He writes a love letter to his sweetheart and signs it, “From Your Valentine.”

And since that day St. Valentine’s legend and story has grown.

And remember, your Soulmate is looking for you too!

Ian – The Soulmate Scientist

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can
disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

soulmates and the mirror effectI know you’ve seen them before. That almost perfect couple. And you know they’re together. Not because they’re holding hands, smooching, or gazing lovingly into each others eyes. And no, they’re not wearing I’m with stupid t-shirts either.

There’s really just something about them. A certain similarity. You can’t quite put your finger on it but you know it’s there.

And even though they’re very different individuals, there’s still something very similar about them. Almost to the point where they consistently show up to places wearing complimentary outfits. Not that they called each other before hand to arrange it that way.

They’re mirrors of each other. Not clones mind you. No.

They’re still very unique people. Both with their own likes and dislikes. But they have this unseen connection. You know that it’s there. It may even sound weird, but you can actually feel it. Continue Reading…

Khalil Gibran On Love

Ian Paul Marshall —  January 17, 2011 — 1 Comment

From the Prophet – Khalil Gibran on Love


When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Continue Reading…

True Love Hurts

Ian Paul Marshall —  January 12, 2011 — 4 Comments

Forgiveness and the Art of Finding Your Soulmate

true love hurts

True Love Hurts

True love isn’t all fluffy clouds and puppy dogs. Love hurts. It’s a fact. One that we like to forget. But it’s there. Hiding. Waiting for the right moment to strike.

Bestselling author Neil Gaiman had this to say about true love, “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Love is for the brave. Love is for the strong. Love if for people who are ready to share the best themselves. To explore dark corners of their own existence. And to be pushed to places that we never knew existed.

But what can you do if you’ve been burned by love?

Is there something out there to help you when love hurts?

I think the only cure for this type of pain is forgiveness. Continue Reading…

bad breakupHave you ever had one of those earth shattering, I’m sort-of afraid for my life, kind of breakups before?

Where the separation rocked you to your core? And the other party shall remain nameless until the end of time? Why? Because you fear that if you do say their name it will give them power and energy. Fueling their evil genius. Giving them the strength to unleash their wretchedness upon other unexpecting victims.

Sort of like how people don’t want to say the dark lords name (Voldemort) in Harry Potter.

I know that these type of breakups suck the life out of you.

But on the flip-side they are pure gold.

No, I’m not crazy. Just stop and think about it for a second. Continue Reading…

Find Your Soulmate - The Zen Master MethodWhen you’re looking for your Soulmate there’s seems to be so much that you’re doing. So much activity going on.

Be it checking out online date sites, going to singles mixers, placing ads in the newspaper, and telling your friends and family to be on the lookout for possible Soulmate matches.

But sometimes you just have to be in the moment.

Seeing it for it’s beauty. Loving it for it’s magnificence. And being amazed by the magnitude of it all.

We get caught up in the doing. And with all of our running around and looking, we miss the miracle that’s happening right now in the present moment.

So if you want to find your Soulmate take a lesson from the Zen Masters.

The famous author Jon Kabat-Zinn reminds us that, Continue Reading…